What do you think your mates expect of you when you tell them to come round on a Friday night after work: Instagram-worthy tablescape with themed candles, matching linen with handwritten place cards and a perfectly-curated menu?
Or perhaps they’d be happy enough to sink onto your sofa after work, slurp down a hearty bowl of broth, and have a right good natter whilst flicking through Netflix?
If the latter sounds like your kind of jam, then the ‘Deep Casual Hosting’ may prove a fool-proof way to deepen connections with flakey friends.
In her Substack newsletter, The Double Shift, American writer Katherine Goldstein made a serious case for having your friends show up to your house without making a major fuss.
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That means no chucking your clutter in a corner, and probably presenting yourself in your lounge gear, rather than a brand new Oliver Bonas floral number.
The expert reasoned that 'Deep Casual Hosting' is paramount in today’s society because regular connection is way more critical ‘than four-hour recipes and sparkling floors’.
“Allowing people to see how you live, what books you have on the shelves, what decoration you have on the walls and the closet overflowing with sports equipment in the hallway is an act of vulnerability. It’s a meaningful bid for connection,” she wrote.
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Although it’s advised that you work as little as possible on your home, there are still a couple of things you should do before your guest comes over.
The first is that you should remove biohazards from the bathroom that your guest will be using during the duration of the stay.
Namely: bleach your toilet, do a once-over in the sink, and please get rid of those paper loo roll tubes that’ve been piling up in the corner.
Goldstein also recommends clearing things off the floor to prevent guests from tripping up.
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But other than that? Low-key really is the name of the game.
For some, that could spell a sofa-based feast, with crisps to start, and pesto pasta for a main course, washed down with a medium-bodied glass of red wine.
Others may want to order in a pizza takeaway and eat it straight from the box whilst gossiping about work, relationships, and over-bearing family members.
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If that sounds right up your street, then Goldstein has some more tips for ‘Deep Casual Hosting’.
These include using paper plates (if you can’t be bothered to wash up), saying ‘yes’ when a guest offers their help, and remembering that last-minute plans are often some of the best.
If eating dinner with your friends in front of the TV at night sounds like your own personal brand of hell, then Apartment Therapy is on hand to deliver some alternative engagements.
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The first is tapping into the social media trend of creating an ‘At-Home coffee house'.
To truly complete, you just need to have some instant coffee, milk, and sugar in.
But if you really wanted to push the boat out, you could Deliveroo some pastries from your favourite local bakery, and invest in a frother to create lattes and cappuccinos.
Not much of a caffeine fiend? Host ‘Apero Hour’ instead.
This spur-of-the-moment gathering sees you and your pals sipping on homemade Aperol Spritz for a couple hours before heading out for some more debauchery.
If creating multiple cocktails sounds like way too much effort, then you alter this by stocking your fridge full of beers.
Just pull out your bottle opener to get the party started.
According to Summa Health, older adults who regularly socialise with friends are more likely to fight off cognitive decline.
Having one-on-one conversations or joining in with group yapping sessions may also reduce the risk of developing a chronic disease, improve your well-being, and increase the likelihood of making healthier choices when it comes to food and exercise.
So next time you think about cancelling because your house is a mess, you may want to take a leaf out of Goldstein’s book and try ‘Deep Casual Hosting’ on for size.
You never know, it could totally revolutionise your relationships.
Topics: UK Food, Social Media, Cooking
Ella Scott