Victoria Beckham opens up about 'incredibly unhealthy' eating disorder as she reveals heartbreaking nickname
The former Spice Girl has revealed she has a lifelong eating disorder
Warning: This article contains discussion of eating disorders which some readers may find distressing.
Victoria Beckham has opened up about life with an eating disorder, as part of her new Netflix series, aptly titled Victoria Beckham.
The former Spice Girl lifted the lid on her life, discussing being married to David and being part of one of the most iconic girl groups ever.
The mum-of-four also also spoke out about her complex relationship with her body image, revealing how she 'didn't like' what she saw when she looked in the mirror, so began to control her weight in an 'incredibly unhealthy way.'
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Speaking to camera as part of the series, the former Spice Girl recalled: "I didn't look like a lot of the other girls. That's where I started getting a lot of criticism about my appearance, my weight.
"I remember the principal of the theatre school saying to me, you know, at the end of the show we are going to just fly in. 'You girls can be flown in', meaning that we weren't looking as aesthetically pleasing as some of the others, 'so we'll just fly you in the back.'"
She then explained that even her family weren't aware of her struggles, as she kept her disordered eating secret.
"When you have an eating disorder, you become very good at lying. And I was never honest about it with my parents," she shared.
"I never spoke about it publicly, it really affects you. When you're told constantly you're not good enough. And I suppose that's been with me my whole life."
Being thrust into the public eye in her twenties saw Victoria scrutinised even more as she revealed she was even nicknamed 'Porky Posh' - not specifying whether this was a harsh label she gave herself or had been given by others.
"I really started to doubt myself and not like myself, and because I let it affect me, I didn't know what I saw when I looked in the mirror," she continued.
"Was I fat? Was I thin? I don't know, you lose all sense of reality. I was just very critical of myself. I didn't like what I saw. I have been everything from porky posh to skinny posh, I mean, it's been a lot and that's hard."
Victoria added: "I had no control over what was being written about me or the pictures that were being taken and I suppose I wanted to control that. I could control it with the clothing, I could control my weight. I was controlling my weight in an incredibly unhealthy way."
She also recalled the famous moment when she was weighed live on television by Chris Evans on his Channel 4 show TFI Friday to see if she had lost her baby weight. The public weigh-in came just months after giving birth to her eldest son Brooklyn in 1999.
Victoria, who was 25 at the time, explained: "I was weighed on national television. 'Get on those scales, have you lost the weight?'
"We laugh about it and we joke about it, but I was really, really young and that hurts."
If you've been affected by any of the issues in this article and would like to speak with someone in confidence, call the BEAT Eating Disorders helpline on 0808 801 0677. Helplines are open 3pm-8pm Monday to Friday. Alternatively, you can try the one-to-one webchat.
Niamh Spence