Brit left absolutely horrified after ordering fish and chips abroad

Being a Brit abroad can be a strange experience.

You might feel a little embarrassed at your monolingualism while people in other countries speak English without breaking a sweat or as a matter of course. You might find yourself tarred with the same brush as overly-boozy troublemakers and, if you’re particularly unlucky, you might come across some foreign approximations of British cuisine.

Now, that’s not cast any shade at foreign cuisine, but when it comes to British classics it’s rare to find something in another land that comes close to the real deal.

Of course, the less said about what we ourselves have done with other cultures’ cuisines, the better. Our concept of ‘Chinese food’, for example, probably wouldn’t go down well with the denizens of Beijing.

But anyway, that’s enough pussyfooting around the issue at hand here: a crime has been committed against one of our countrymen in the shape of some frankly faecal-looking ‘fish’ sat next to the most anaemic chips you will ever see.

Behold:

I preferred it when they served it in newspaper (Reddit)

This, fellow Brits, is ‘fish and chips’ served to an unassuming Brit whilst travelling in India.

Shared to Reddit by the unfortunate diner who was served this affront to battered fish, the image was captioned: "Fancied some British food and ordered fish and chips… wow, what a sight this was."

Let’s not beat around the bush here, that ‘fish’ looks more like dog mess than anything vaguely aquatic.

We also mustn’t allow that shy pot of mayonnaise at the back to go unnoticed. No amount of ketchup, mushy peas, baked beans, tartar sauce, or gravy is going to save this plate of turd and chips, but the mayonnaise really needn’t have bothered turning up.

"It’s definitely fish! It’s just recycled…" suggested one user.

"Just because you caught it floating in the river doesn’t necessarily make it a fish," said another Redditor with an eye for a poo joke.

"They must have thought you said ‘faeces and chips’," quipped another.

One of the more intrepid commenters added: "Kind of curious about how it tasted."

Quieting the alarm bells was one helpful user who seems familiar with the dish and said the brown nuggets 'are likely fish cutlets'.

"There is meat in the inside, likely fish in this case, and a chickpea breading or similar (lentil, pea, flour) and deep fried,” they continued. “Of course, some Indian spices which also give the dark colour.

There's no place like home (Peter Adams/Getty Images)

"In my home they are usually made with beef, and are super delicious.

"We also make them more of a flat disk shape, like a large thick coin which also make them more appealing then the shape shown."

Harmless as that sounds, do they really need to be moulded like that?