In an era of TikTok-boosted dietary fads promising all manner of not-scientifically-supported health benefits, the age-old wisdom to get a balanced diet of leafy greens, protein sources, fruit, grains, carbohydrates and plenty of water is generally the best bet for most people.
Thankfully this story isn’t about a man recommending a restrictive diet whilst espousing its benefits – in fact, it’s quite the opposite.
Curious to find out what a week-long diet of protein bars would do to his body, YouTuber Colin Murray from Wisconsin, USA decided to live off the things for a week while maintaining an intense calisthenics routine.
Advert
To cut a long story short: Colin had a bad time.
Protein bars can be useful snacks if you’re an active person in need of brief energy boosts and heightened protein intake. They typically contain less sugar than a chocolate bar and they will help push your daily protein consumption higher, but they aren’t a diet-wide substitute that will give your body everything it needs.
For Colin, living off them exclusively made his workouts “sad” while his body felt “weak”. Quelle surprise, eh?
Along with feeling sub-optimal during his workouts, Colin often felt dizzy and bloated, and even inside one week he found the definition started to disappear around his abs.
Things started off cheerfully enough, with Colin eating two protein bars for each meal and enjoying not having to cook. By the end of the day, he was already regretting the experiment.
“I think I'm pregnant,” he said. “My stomach's broken. I'm already starting to get sick of this food.”
Day two was no better, especially in the toilet department.
“I ate a lot of protein bars but nothing has come out yet, so that's a little bit alarming,” he said.
“I haven't pooped in three days. That is a long time and to be honest it is kind of starting to freak me out a little bit.”
Desperate to get things moving downstairs, Colin ate some blueberries and apples on day three to try and get things moving again.
The side effects continued when he returned to a purely-protein-bar-based diet on day four.
“I've been tired this entire day and my stomach still makes that noise.
“I normally always have a six-pack [too], but since I've been doing this diet I'm always bloated. I also smell.” It’s unclear how much success he’d had on the toilet by this stage.
Days five and six saw him feeling restless and uncomfortable, along with finding that his workouts weren’t hitting the spot.
At the end of the week, Colin had completely turned against protein bars and felt ashamed at having eaten so many of them over the years.
“It feels like I've been poisoning myself for the past like five years, because I've eaten these a lot — especially this week.
“'Processed food [like protein bars] really just kills your energy, is kind of what I'm noticing... when you eat processed food it really messes you up.
“This past week, I haven't gotten any sleep, I haven't been able to do anything... They should be an every now and again snack.” To be fair, Colin, you didn’t need to torture yourself for a week to make that discovery.
While eating nothing but processed food all week is likely to mess your body up, you could probably say the same about eating nothing but apples or broccoli for days on end.
Rachael Davis