We have a complex relationship with alcohol. In moderation, it’s a good way to loosen up, drop some social inhibitions and hopefully have a bit more fun.
But of course, there’s a darker side to it. Binge drinking and alcohol dependency both loom large over our habits, and it’s important to check-in with ourselves to ensure our relationship with booze isn’t having a negative impact on our lives.
Alcoholism is a common challenge that’s brought to psychotherapists, and one has taken to social media to share her take on how we can gauge whether there are any warning signs within our individual relationships with alcohol.
Veronica Valli, the psychotherapist in question, has shared what she feels is a “relatable” analogy. She warned, however, that it might rub some people up the wrong way.
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"A 'normal' person, the way they view alcohol, is the same way I think about sandwiches," she shared on Instagram.
"So I might think today, 'oh I'll have a sandwich for lunch, that's nice' and I enjoy it.
"Tomorrow, I might have a salad, the day after I may have some soup."
She continued by suggesting she might be at a party at the weekend with plates of sandwiches doing the rounds, and she might indulge in a couple.
"And then a bit later, the plate of sandwiches goes by again, and I go 'no thanks, I'm good'.
"That is literally how much I think about sandwiches."
The point here is that the sandwiches come by, and you can say no, I’ve had enough, and move on without another thought.
If you were to compare this to alcohol, it might be that someone is bringing glasses of wine around a party.
After a couple, do you start to wonder whether you’ve had your fill? If you say no, do you find yourself becoming preoccupied with whether you should have said yes? Do you feel guilty for drinking more?
It’s this mindset, or framing, that she finds useful when applied to alcohol.
Valli said: "It is the thinking about drinking, the thinking about not drinking, that arguing with yourself."
If that’s your experience, it may be a warning that your relationship with alcohol may be problematic either now or in the future.
She added that considering who will notice your drinking is another cause for concern. In other words, are you trying to obfuscate your habits from other people?
Plenty of people in the comments saw merit in her analogy.
"Completely agree,” said one. “The sandwiches don’t do anything outside of providing a bit of enjoyment and satisfaction. They don’t believe they NEED the sandwiches."
"Just so relatable,” said another. “My every thought was consumed by alcohol. Three years sober today."
Another shared: "As an alcoholic in recovery, I cannot comprehend how normals just don't think about alcohol.”
"The amount of headspace alcohol took up for my entire adult life is extraordinary,” said another who said they were recovering from alcohol issues. “And now I've been sober for over 2 years."
If you want to chat with an expert in confidence about your relationship with alcohol, contact Drinkline on 0300 123 1110, 9am to 8pm on weekdays and 11am to 4pm on weekends.
Topics: Alcohol
Rachael Davis